Jasmine Hart

Hi. This flows well. I think that the second stanza is much stronger than the first. I really like; "Day disappears and as night creeps closer, We fall into a ...

Hi. You make some interesting associations with water here. My favourite is; "A mother’s grief; how she lost her child." In itself, I can't really see anything wrong with this, ...

This flows well as a whole and progresses nicely from beginning to end. I think the constant repetition is too much- it gets wearisome and doesn't really add anything to ...

I love this. The first sentence is great. I love; "their red fissure breaking bare" and "ripen into carcasses". It flows very well and the end is powerful. My only ...

Hi. I really like; "Half him and half her course through my veins They are there My hair, my blood, my short fingernails They are me." After this point, I ...

Hi. Congrats on your first poem! I hope you keep it up. You stuck closely to the form- I believe that any lack of elaboration, or any tendancy towards repetition ...

Hi. I love and adore this. It flows perfectly, and your language and imagery is beautiful. I especially liked; "newborn rainbow", "dirt from dying things" and "blissful drunken season". I ...

Hi June. I really enjoyed this. Your imagery's lovely. I especially liked; "In a flurry of pages". Stanza two is perfect- the flow is flawless, and again the imagery is ...

Hi again, Critique number two, as per your request. I think it's much better now. I have two final tips for you; the first is to kepe to one tense. ...

Hi. This is a fresh and interesting piece. I'd begin it earlier, at least with Tom's entrance into the shop and his impression of it, if not before then. As ...

Hi Clau. I really shouldn't attempt to critique your poetry as I always love it too much. Oh well. I'll give it a shot... I love the first stanza. The ...

Yay! A new poem by Matt! I love your poetry! This begins well. I'd add some sort of punctuation after "concrete." I love; "Scuffed footprints." It's a great image. I ...

Hi. I think that the interspersing of the song was a tad bizarre. The contrast of the slow song and Jack's running is a bit strange. If you have a ...

Hi. This flows well and you handle the rhyme scheme well. The first "your" should be "you're". If you're ever uncertain, stop and ask yourself if it would make more ...

Hi. You're right, I think this needs to be longer, but I'll get to that in a minute, after I look at what you have already. To be brutally honest ...